


His Girl

by mtngirlforever



Series: The Halsteads [1]
Category: Chicago PD (TV)
Genre: F/M, His Forever flame series, Prequel, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-15
Updated: 2018-03-03
Packaged: 2018-11-03 21:41:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10975881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mtngirlforever/pseuds/mtngirlforever
Summary: PREQUEL to His Forever Flame. Book 1 in His Forever Flame series. Backstory on how they met and their road leading up to chapter 1 of His Forever Flame.**I decided to expand this prequel more so it's still a work in progress. It takes you on their back story leading up to His Forever Flame.**





	1. May 2010

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to expand this prequel so I'm unpublishing the chapter that was here but no worries, It'll be the very last chapter when I get there. I hope you enjoy this look into their past.

Lauren's plane had just touched down in Chicago. She still couldn't believe she was here. At Easter her mom had dropped a bomb on her that her real dad lived in Chicago and she had a brother. She was shocked and then angry with her mother for keeping this from her.

She'd lived all her life with a man that had treated her different and barely liked her, but now she knew why. She wasn't really his. Her mother had been with someone else and tried passing her off as her husband's daughter. Apparently he'd figured it out as Lauren got older, but they kept it from her.

After she got over her shock she reached out to her brother. She'd always wanted an older brother to look out for her, and now she had one. She just wasn't sure how he'd react. Apparently he'd always known he had other siblings because their dad wasn't exactly the faithful type.

They spent the next two months talking almost every day getting to know one another. When Lauren's school year ended in May, her brother, Kelly, offered to fly her to Chicago to spend the summer with him.

Lauren jumped at the chance to escape from Tennessee for a bit. Things had not been the same between her and her mom since Easter, and she'd never gotten along with her step-dad. While her mother objected, Lauren didn't give her choice. She told her mom that she'd kept this from her for long enough and since she felt the need to tell her, then Lauren felt the need to know her real family.

Kelly had bought the ticket and Lauren was excited. Her best friend, Wes, had dropped her at the airport right after their last day of school and told her to enjoy her summer. She was nervous and excited at the same time. Kelly promised he would be waiting on her.

Once she exited the plane she looked around the large airport and all the people. This had been her first time flying and if she was being honest, she hated it. She had a fear of heights and was claustrophobic, but she'd wanted to come so she'd told herself to get over it. All the people milling about and people in a rush made her anxiety kick up, especially when she couldn't find her brother.

They'd skyped several times so she did know what he looked like, but she couldn't find him the crowd. People brushed past her, some bumping into her, and Lauren felt the onset of a panic attack. She'd thought she'd finally outgrown them in her teen years but apparently not. Her pulse was racing and she felt her breathing quicken as people kept brushing past.

"Sweetie breathe, you're ok," she heard as a blonde haired woman swam in front of her. She felt the hands on her shoulders as the noise of the busy airport started to fade.

"No... no... stay with me," she heard as she felt taps on her cheeks. "Match my breathing," the voice said holding her cheeks.

Lauren tried and slowly she felt her breathing slowing down. "That's it. You're ok. Just keep slow deep breaths," the voice said as her vision became clearer. "Kelly get your ass over here now!" The woman yelled across the airport as she kept an eye on Lauren's breathing.

"K.... Kel?" Lauren managed as her breathing returned to even.

"Yea. He's here honey. I'm Shay. Well Leslie Shay. Paramedic on Amublance 61 and Kelly's roommate," she smiled.

"Oh," Lauren managed a weak smile. "He's mentioned you before. I'm Lauren, his sister... I uh.... sorry about that," she mumbled waving her hand around as Kelly ran up.

"I'm so sorry Sis," he said pulling her into a hug. "We got caught up in the crowd and I wanted to get you something and then Shay saw you. I'm sorry. I should've been here," he said holding her tight.

"It's ok.. it's ok. I'm ok now. I just.... I haven't had one in a while," she whispered her face blushing bright red. What an impression she was making on her brother and his friend she thought.

"Come on let's get your bags and get home. I'm sure you're tired," he said wrapping his arm around her shoulder to keep her close. Shay walked on her other side as they went to baggage claim and got her bags.

They left the airport and Lauren took in the sights as they drove through Chicago back to Kelly's apartment. "Well... this is home," he smiled throwing open the door. He gave her a quick tour. All three bedrooms were close together and the living room looked cozy. "I think I'll just shower and head to bed," Lauren said with a yawn. She'd been up since six that morning for school and then her flight and ensuing panic attack had left her pretty tired.

"Ok little bit. If you need something just yell," Kelly said giving her a hug and kiss on the forehead.

"Thanks Kel," she whispered returning the hug before going to shower.

"Well what a day," Kelly sighed flopping on the couch by Shay.

"She seems sweet. A little shy, but sweet."

"Yea... I reckon her mom kept her sheltered for most of her life. And her step dad is a real ass apparently."

"Well she's here now and we'll make sure she has a great time," Shay smiled.

"Just don't corrupt my baby sister," he laughed.

"Who? Me?" Shay laughed as she got up and headed to bed herself.

The next day Kelly took Lauren around the city showing her different attractions and his favorite things and places. It was the first time she'd been to a big city like Chiacgo and he loved watching the wonder on her face as they went around.

That night everyone was gathering at Molly's like always and Kelly wanted to take her.

"Kel... I'm not even eighteen. I'm not allowed in a bar."

"Sis the guys at the firehouse own it. It'll be fine I promise. Plus it'll give you a chance to meet everyone. You're not gonna drink, we're just going to hang out. I promise, you'll love it."

Lauren gave in knowing Kelly was being honest about it. While she was nervous she was kind of excited to be venturing out too. Her mom had controlled her life so much, she rarely knew what fun was. Anything she did had to have approval and had to be safe and "sin" free. Until she'd turned sixteen, her mom had even screened every book Lauren wanted to read before she let her read it. Lauren couldn't wait until she was eighteen and out of high school so she could have her freedom. This summer was definitely going to be a taste of it for sure.

She dressed in jeans since it was still kind of cool in Chicago and a tank Shay had told her to wear. She threw a light long sleeve cardigan over it in case it got too cold. She straighten her hair and skipped the make-up.

Once at the bar, she realized how friendly everyone was. She felt eyes on her as soon as she walked through the door, but she tried to ignore them. She was here with her brother and his friends, besides she doubted anyone would be hitting on her. She'd yet to date anyone thanks to her mother, but she was also self conscious and rarely had time for a guy.

She was struggling to keep up with all of Kelly's introductions, so she scanned the bar to see if she could figure out whose eyes she kept feeling on her. Her eyes connected with a blue eyed hottie sitting at the bar. As soon as their eyes met, he looked away making her sigh. She knew it was too good to be true that a really good looking guy would be into her. She turned her attention back to Kelly and his friends, but every so often she could feel eyes just staring at her.

**..........................................................**

He had no idea who she was or where she came from, but she was smoking hot. She walked, no more like swayed, into the bar with Kelly Severide. He assumed she was Kelly's date, and Kelly was one lucky sonofabitch if she was because she was smoking. For whatever reason Jay could not take his eyes off her. Every time she moved, every time he heard her laugh, every time she did anything his eyes were drawn to her.

Damn why did he have to be underage. He was dying for a drink he couldn't have. His brother, sitting on his right side, had wanted bar food even though Jay couldn't drink. He hadn't been paying Will any attention in the last 15 minutes since she'd walked into the bar.

When Will called his name for the third time with a laugh, Jay turned back to his brother and tried to pay attention. He only caught parts of the conversation because his mind kept being drawn back to the girl, but he gathered Will was talking about med school again. That's all Will dreamed about. He was a senior in college and was planning to move to New york for med school as soon as he graduated. Jay on the other hand, avoided med school like the black plague and joined the Army. He was on leave right now because he was fixing to join the Rangers and begin his training. He had until August to spend time with his friends and family before he would be off to Fort Benning to begin thirty weeks of training.

When he felt a hand on his back, he stiffened. He could tell it was a feminine hand, but he didn't know who it belonged to. When he turned to see who was touching him, his eyes locked on the hottie he'd had his eye on all night.

"Hi. I'm Lauren Severide," she said in her cute little voice. _God everything about her was cute and sexy,_ Jay thought. It was only after he introduced himself that he realized her last name was Severide too.

"Are you related to Kelly?" he asked. He could only hope she was, and she wasn't a wife Kelly had hidden away.

"Yea actually I am. I'm his sister. I just found out about him and vice versa at Easter. I live in Tennessee so this is the first time I'm actually gettin to visit him."

Jay swallowed his tongue. Her southern accent was a major turn on. She couldn't be his age; she looked younger than him, but he couldn't take his eyes off her. "I just wondered why you've been staring all night," she said waiting him out.

And that did it for him. He was gone, totally smitten with her. "Umm… well…. I..." He didn't know what to say. He could hear Will laughing on his other side, and he wanted to smack him, but he knew that was not possible at the moment. About that time Kelly came wandering over.

"Well there you are Sis." That was still taking her some time to get used too. "Sis" one word was all it took for her to feel protected and loved. She'd always wished she had an older brother and now she did. She was just hoping he wasn't fixing to ruin her chance with this good looking guy. Because when he wasn't checking her out, she had been checking him out too.

"Yea... Just makin new friends," she smiled up at him before looking back at Jay.

"Ah. Halstead isn't it?" Kelly asked.

"Yep. That's me," Jay said.

Kelly leaned down and whispered in her ear and she just nodded. He turned to head back to their friends. "He's just a little protective," she said blushing. She grabbed a pen from her bag and reached for Jay's hand.

"Gimme a call. I'm in town all summer," she said writing her number on his palm before turning to walk off.

Jay just stared after her until Will's laugh broke through his mind. "Shut up," Jay grumbled at him.

"I have never seen you so speechless dude," Will laughed.

"Did you not see her?!" Jay asked incredulously.

"Oh yea. She's definitely too young for me, but go for it bro. You deserve some fun before shipping out," Will said quietly. Jay's ranger decision was still a sore spot between them, but they were working through it.

"Yea... maybe.... I dunno she looked young and I've heard Kelly can be a real prick. It's probably not worth it," he sighed glancing back over his shoulder to see her gone.

"Ya never know," Will said slapping his back as he paid their bill.

"Yea...." Jay said before they headed back to their apartment.

Both thought of the other all night long as they laid in their own beds. Was it just a chance meeting? Or was it fate? They both fell asleep with these thoughts playing through their minds. 


	2. 1st Date

After that night at Molly's, Lauren constantly kept her phone close. She'd been so sure he would call her, but doubt was starting to creep in. Maybe she'd been too forward? Maybe he hadn't liked her at all? Maybe she'd imagined the whole night. All these thoughts were starting to drive her crazy because it was the first time she'd ever put herself out there with a guy. 

The first half of the week, Kelly had taken off to spend time with her. While she was with him, the crazy thoughts had stayed away. Kelly had taken her to Navy Pier and the Bean. He'd even drove up to Kenosha on Tuesday to see their dad. That had been an interesting meeting to say the least. Benny, their dad, had wanted nothing to do with Lauren claiming she was not his. They hadn't stayed long, Kelly having enough of Benny's behavior. He believed Lauren when she claimed to be his sister because Benny was always with different women. 

When they'd left Kenosha, Lauren had convinced Kelly to run her by Med to get a paternity test to prove to Benny she was his. Kelly tried explaining to her Benny probably wouldn't care either way once his mind was made up, but Lauren wanted to try anyways. 

On Wednesday, Kelly had apologized profusely that he needed to sleep because he went on shift that night, but Lauren had told him to stop. She understood that he still had to work this summer, even though she was there, and that she would be fine. That's when the worrisome thoughts started creeping in. She'd really liked the guy and he was definitely easy on the eyes, but he'd obviously not been into her as much as she thought. 

......................................................

Jay waited an entire week before he convinced himself to call her. He wasn't sure it was the right thing to do since he would be shipping out in a few months, but he couldn't quit thinking about her. She invaded his every waking thought and even some of his dreams. He knew this was crazy, but he had to see her again. 

He dialed the number and listened to it ring. He had to stop himself from hanging up several times, but when he heard her southern drawl, it was worth it. 

"Hello?" she said. 

"Hey. This is... It's Jay from Molly's last week," he said feeling like an idiot. 

"Oh," she said surprised. 

"I know. I should've called sooner and if you'll go out with me I'll explain why I didn't. I just.... I really want to see you again," he said mentally smacking himself for sounding so dumb.

Lauren let out a little giggle and Jay felt it all throughout his body. "Ok. Yea I'll go out with you," she said making his smile grow. 

"Ok... ok good. I can pick you up tomorrow at six. I know this great restaurant and place we can go just to talk." 

"I'll be ready.  I'm staying with my brother. His apartment is in the Cobbler Square Lofts. Do you know where that is?" 

"Yea my brother and I are renting an apartment not far from there." 

"Oh. Cool," she said. He made her nervous and she wasn't sure what to say. 

"Lauren?" 

"Yea," she said loving the sound of her name from his lips. 

"I only have a motorcycle so.... can you ride?" 

She let out a little squeak before she could stop herself. "I've never ridden before.... but.... it... well it can't be that hard right?" 

Jay held in his chuckle at the nerves he heard in her voice. "No, it's not. And I wouldn't let you get hurt. I swear. Jeans and boots will be best if you have them." 

"Yea... yea I brought some. What about a jacket?" 

"You can wear mine if you need it," he said stealing her breath. 

"Ok Jay," she whispered and he had to stop a moan of desire from escaping hearing her say his name with her accent. 

"I'll see you tomorrow Lauren." 

"Ok see you," she said and they hung up. 

Kelly and Shay were on shift so she'd have to catch Shay first thing in the morning to help her pick out something to wear. This would be her first ever date and she was excited and nervous and wanted it to go well. 

She barely slept that night with all her nerves and excitement. She was up waiting on Kelly and Shay when they got home. "Hey Sis. What are you doing up this early?" Kelly asked giving her a hug. They'd got pulled out on a call right as shift was ending and ended up working over. By the time they got home it was already four in the morning and they were both exhausted. 

"Just couldn't sleep," she said trying to send Shay a look. 

"You sure everything's ok?" Kelly asked catching her look. 

"Yep. I'm good," she smiled reassuringly at her brother. 

"Kelly just go to bed and let me talk to her," Shay said shoving him towards his room. She knew he wouldn't go without some encouragement and Lauren obviously had something she wanted to talk to her about. 

Kelly sighed looking between the two of them before Shay gave him a nod. He hugged Lauren and told her goodnight before heading for bed. 

"Ok, what's up?" Shay asked plopping down at the bar with Lauren. 

"I have a date tonight and I need help picking an outfit," she spit out quickly as a blush coated her cheeks. 

"A date huh?" Shay said with a smile. 

"Jay finally called today and wants to take me out tonight," she said. 

"Ah. I see," Shay smiled giving her a hug. The girls had become close in the week Lauren had been there, and Shay was like her big sister now. "What kind of outfit do we need?" 

"Ummm.... well he said he only has a motorcycle so jeans and boots, but I didn't bring boots and I don't have any idea what to pair with it." 

"I've got boots you can try," Shay smiled. "Oh and just the perfect shirt," Shay smiled pulling Lauren to her room. 

She grabbed some black boots from the closet and then tossed Lauren a blue and a red plaid button up shirts. "Try either of those with some tight jeans. I'll help you with makeup too if you want," Shay offered knowing Lauren's mom had never allowed it. 

"Thanks Shay, I really appreciate this," Lauren said giving her a hug. 

"Of course honey. I don't mind. What time is he getting you?" 

"He said he'd pick me up at six." 

"Ok. I'll be sure to be up. Now, go get some sleep," Shay smiled giving her one more hug. 

"You too. Thanks so much," Lauren said heading to bed herself. She was finally tired now that her outfit was decided and she couldn't wait for her date. 

Lauren ended up sleeping until lunch. Shay slept until about four and Kelly was still asleep as Shay helped her get ready. "You sure you don't mind telling him?" Lauren asked Shay again. 

"I promise. Besides he'll be overprotective at first but he'll get over it. I can handle him," she winked as she finished up Lauren's makeup. She'd braided her hair for her too and Lauren looked stunning. 

"This alright?" She asked doing a quick twirl. 

"You look great," Shay smiled. Just then they heard a knock. "Go knock him dead. We'll see you later," Shay smiled pushing her to the door. 

Shay held in her laugh as she heard Jay's sharp intake of air when Lauren opened the door. After telling her how good she looked and asking if she was ready, they were out the door. Shay curled up on the couch with the TV waiting for Kelly to wake to break the news to him. While she assured Lauren she could handle him, and she could, she knew he was going to flip when he found out his baby sister was out on a date. 

Once outside the apartment building Jay helped Lauren strap on a helmet. "Now its not hard. Just hang on and lean with me. If you fight it, that's when it gets tricky," he said making sure her helmet was on snug. 

Lauren gave him a nod and he climbed on his Ducati. She slid on behind him, the seat pushing her right up against him. She wrapped her arms around him and held on tight as he fired it up. Damn if she didn't feel good wrapped around him. 

He gave her hands a reassuring squeeze before taking off. He heard her short yelp and felt her squeeze tighter and it made him smile. This girl was something else and he loved having her close. 

They pulled up outside a burger joint in the city and Jay killed the bike. Lauren was still holding on tight and he couldn't stop his smile from growing. He gently pulled her hands apart and slid off before helping her off. "You good?" He asked undoing her helmet and leaving it on the handlebar. 

"Yea... that was... that was fun," she smiled big. 

Jay couldn't stop himself from kissing her forehead. Her emotions and demeanor was so catching and she already made him happy. "Good. I'm glad you liked it. Let's go eat," he smiled taking her hand. They went in and found a corner table. After they ordered they shared easy conversation just getting to know one another. 

Lauren told him about life in Tennessee, getting to know Kelly, and how excited she was for the summer. Jay talked about his brother Will and life in the army. He told her about his upcoming training and how he'd be away for a while. He said this is why he hadn't originally called because he wasn't sure it was fair to a girl to start something and then leave. At the same time he couldn't stop thinking about her and wanted to see her again. He figured it was better to be  upfront with her from the beginning since summer was all he had. He discovered she was almost eighteen and he was twenty. 

They carried on conversation as they ate. It was one of the best burgers she'd had. After they were done, he drove them down to the Pier, where they walked hand in hand sharing more easy conversation. They split a milkshake and stared out over the water as the stars shone above. 

Jay reached up and brushed a stray hair from face. It'd come loose from her braid and he couldn't stop himself. This girl was absolutely breathtaking and he was enchanted with her. When she smiled up at him his heart almost stopped. 

"I really like you Lauren," he whispered cupping her cheek as he stared down into her green eyes. 

"I really like you too Jay," she smiled back up at him. 

"I wanna kiss you," he whispered leaning closer to her. He saw the blush color her cheeks and smiled. Their foreheads met and he heard her fast breathing. "I don't have to Lauren. It's totally up to you," he whispered rubbing her cheek. 

"Jay.... I..."

"Shhh... it's ok," he whispered placing his fingers over her lips. He wouldn't push her that was for sure but damn if he didn't want that kiss. 

"No you don't understand," she whispered feeling him pull away. She felt the sigh escape as she realized she was ruining this first date. 

"What don't I understand?" He asked cupping her cheek again. 

"Jay... I... I told you about my mom and how strict she is. You... I... This is honestly my first ever date and I don't wanna ruin it," she said quietly not meeting his eyes. 

He gently tipped her chin up so he could see her. "There's no way you could ruin it," he smiled resting his forehead against hers once more. "Yes or no? Do you want a kiss Lauren?" He asked quietly gazing into her beautiful eyes. 

"Yes," she whispered almost breathlessly. 

Jay had to remind himself to take it slow and not scare her. Her breathless honesty left him breathless and desiring her. Not tonight he scolded his body. Tonight was just for her. 

He slowly brushed his lips across her forehead and then her cheek. He gently kissed the other cheek before slowly brushing his lips across hers. When he felt her lips moving against his, he kissed her soundly. He'd never been left so breathless from just a kiss. 

"Wow," she whispered as they slowly pulled apart. 

"Yea," he smiled wrapping his arms around her and tucking her against his chest. "Wow is right," he whispered.

"Jay?" She asked after a beat.

"Mmm?" He answered slowly easing her back to look at her. 

"I've.... I've never been this... This forward before, but I really like you," she said with a blush. 

"I really like you too beautiful. And I definitely want to do this again," he smiled reassuring her. 

"Me too," she smiled big going up on tiptoe and giving him another kiss. Jay slowly responded deepening it just a little before slowly easing them back to catch their breaths. 

"I better get you home," he whispered seeing it was already almost ten.

Lauren nodded as he wrapped his arm across her shoulders and they headed back for his bike. "We'll do this again?" She asked as he helped her put her helmet on and then he zipped his jacket around her. 

"Of course we will. I promise," he smiled. 

Once back at Kelly's, Jay kissed her two more times before letting her go inside. It'd been the best night either of them had in a while. Kelly had slightly freaked out hearing she'd been out on a date when he awoke, but seeing how happy she was when she returned calmed him down. 

Jay and Lauren texted and talked on the phone almost every day after that. They hung out a lot too, and even hung out some with Kelly so he could get to know Jay better. A month after arriving in Chicago and Lauren and Jay were officially dating. It'd been the best month so far and she couldn't wait to see what the rest of summer would be like.


	3. You're My First

Over the month they'd been together, Jay and Lauren had grown so much closer. He knew he was in love with this girl, and he wasn't sure he'd ever fall out of love with her either. It was already July and he knew their time was running out quick. He didn't want to leave her, but duty called. 

It was the fourth of July. They'd been together for a little over a month and he had a romantic day planned for them. This was the first time he'd ever gone this slow with a girl, but she was the first girl he'd ever loved. Besides a few heavy make-out sessions, they hadn't gone farther. Jay wasn't pushing her either. He loved her enough to respect when she was ready. 

He spent the morning getting ready. He borrowed Will's car so they could both dress up for a change. He made reservations at a restaurant on the river where the fireworks would be visible. He picked her up at lunch and they spent the day roaming around the city. About four, he took her back to Kelly's to get ready for the night. 

When he picked her up again, she was drop dead gorgeous. She had a long blue strapless dress on. Her hair was in it's natural curls, and she had just enough make-up on to leave him speechless. 

"This ok?" she asked giving him a small smile. 

"Better than ok," he managed pulling her close for a searing kiss. She clung to him as they kissed just inside the doorway. 

"Ok you two get outta here, and be safe," Kelly called killing their moment. 

"We will," Jay said wrapping his arm around Lauren's shoulder giving Kelly a nod. Once down in the car, Lauren leaned over and gave Jay another searing kiss. She couldn't get enough of this man, and she couldn't wait to give him a surprise tonight. 

"So where are we going?" she asked lacing her fingers through his. 

"A surprise," he smiled at her with a wink. 

"Fine," she said pretending to pout. "I have my own surprise for you later," she said with a grin. 

"What kind of surprise?" Jay asked navigating the city traffic. 

"It's a surprise," she said sarcastically making him laugh. 

"Fine... ok, keep your surprise," he smiled. Lauren let out a little huff. She'd hoped that if she told him she had a surprise for him, he'd give in a tell what her surprise was, but that didn't work. 

They pulled up outside the restaurant and let out a little surprise gasp. "Jay.... this place looks expensive," she whispered. 

"So? This is our night. Just go with it beautiful," he smiled giving her a quick kiss. He came around and helped her out. Inside they were seated in a back corner with a table overlooking the river. 

"This is beautiful," she said taking it in. 

"Yes it is," Jay smiled never taking his eyes off her. 

Lauren blushed as she caught his look. They enjoyed the food and just being together. It was so easy when it was just them. Jay just hoped it was always this easy with her. After their dinner plates had been cleared, Jay pulled out a small box and set it on the table in front of her. "What's this?" she whispered carefully picking it up. 

"Open it," Jay smiled holding one of her hands across the table. 

Lauren slowly lifted the lid and her eyes slowly filled with tears. Inside lay a solid silver band. On the outside their names were engraved and on the inside was today's date. "It's a promise ring," he started as he carefully pulled it from the box for her. 

He slowly slid it on her finger; it was a perfect fit. "I promise to always love you and cherish you. I promise to always fight to come back to you. I promise to always just be whatever you need me to be. I love you Lauren, and I know at the end of this month our time together is going to come to an end. But I don't want it to be the end. I want to promise to come back for you because I love you more than I ever knew it was possible to love someone. I don't want this to just be some summer fling. I want this to be the real deal. I want you to have something that when you look at it, you think of me. I love you Lauren Kathleen." 

"Oh Jay," she whispered jumping up and walking to his side of the table. "I love it and I love you. This was perfect," she whispered giving him a gentle kiss as the fireworks started. He pulled her into the chair beside him and wrapped his arm around her. Lauren leaned back on his shoulder alternately looking at her new jewelry and watching the fireworks. This was only the beginning of their perfect night.  

Once the fireworks were over, Jay paid and they headed out to the car. When he went to open her door, Lauren wrapped her arms around him tight and kissed him deeply. Jay softly moaned into the kiss as Lauren pulled him tighter against her. When she softly bit his bottom lip, he took a big breath of air and slowly eased back. She wrapped her arms back around him not wanting this distance. She gently bit his earlobe and he almost lost it. 

"Is Will home?" she whispered before he could put some much needed distance between them before he did something they'd both regret. 

"Umm.... no," he said struggling to remember anything but her. 

Lauren let out a small giggle seeing how flustered she made him. "Take me to your place Jay," she said softly kissing him again. 

"Baby..." he started to reassure her they didn't have to, but she stopped him. 

"Take me to your place Jay," she repeated. He stared into her eyes for the longest, but all he found was so much love reflected back at him. He opened her door and then ran around to his side of the car. They held hands the whole way back to his apartment. He was immensely glad Will had gone out with friends tonight. 

Before he could even get the door unlocked, Lauren was kissing him like her life depended on it. He couldn't help but kiss her back just as hard and deep. He barely got the door unlocked and they tumbled in. He pushed her up against the wall and resumed their intense kisses. His fingers ended up tangled in her hair as his tongue explored her mouth. He never got tired of this. 

Lauren slowly eased back when she needed air. Her fingers were tangled in his hair and she tugged just a little. "Take me to bed Jay," she panted as she regained her breath. 

"Baby.... are you sure?" he whispered running a hand down her cheek over her smooth creamy skin. 

She nodded her head yes as she nuzzled the hand on her cheek. "I've never been more sure. I love you Jay. I love you so very much. I want you just as much. As much as I love our make out sessions, I want more. I want you. I want you to be my first and only," she whispered going in for another deep kiss. 

Jay's hands ran down her back as he cupped her ass. He easily picked her up, wrapping her around him, as he carried her the short distance to his bedroom. He kicked the door closed behind him as he carried her to the bed. He carefully slid her down him as he set her on the floor. Lauren let out the sweetest, sexiest moan he'd ever heard making him almost lose his mind. He kept reminding himself he had to take it slow for her, but damn if she wasn't making it difficult. 

"God you're sexy," he moaned as he kissed down her exposed neck. 

"Jay," she whimpered clinging to him. 

"I know. Patience beautiful. We've got all night," he whispered kissing around her neck, collarbone and just above her dress. 

Lauren's soft moans were doing more to him than anyone before her ever had. He knew there would be no one that ever compared to her. He slowly started peeling her dress down being sure to take it slow. He softly kissed over newly exposed skin as he went. Her fingers danced over his head and shoulders as he kissed all over her body. Once he had her dress off, he slowly kissed back up. 

He slowly released her bra as he kissed her hard and deep. He let his hands run over her breasts as he gently eased her to his bed. Her moans turned deeper, turning him on more. 

He softly kissed on her as he ran his hands all over her. He paid special attention to her breasts making sure to get her good and worked up. Once she was panting and begging him, he slowly undressed and crawled over her. "I love you," he whispered kissing her hard. 

"I love you too," she smiled up at him running her own hands over his chiseled chest. She had no idea how she'd gotten so lucky to get such a sexy man, but she was appreciating every inch of him at the moment. 

They kept up with the kisses as Jay continued running his hands all over her getting her more worked up by the second. When she didn't think she could take any more, his fingers slipped under her panties and he slowly rubbed. Lauren almost came undone right then. She arched her back towards him as a long moan escaped. 

"That's it beautiful, just feel," he whispered continuing to kiss all over her. He slowed eased her panties out of his way as he kept gently rubbing her. 

"Jay.... I.... Oh God Jay," she moaned as the feeling kept building in her. 

"I know baby. Don't fight it. Let it come. Come for me Lauren," he whispered slipping a finger inside her as he kept rubbing her clit. 

Lauren felt her world exploded. The pressure became too much and then it was this intense feeling of floating as she saw stars and her body trembled around Jay. "Oh that's it baby. So sexy," he whispered in her ear as he watched her come for him for the first time. 

Lauren shuddered and clung to Jay as she slowly started to come down. Jay knew he needed to be quick to keep from hurting her. He quickly slipped a condom on and eased into her. Her eyes locked on his as all these new feelings assaulted her. She felt so full and slight pain, but so good at the same time. 

"Jay," she gasped clinging to him. 

"I know," he whispered holding as still as possible as he kissed around her face. 

She was so tight around him, and he didn't want to hurt her. He softly kissed her lips and eased back just a touch. Lauren gasped and wrapped her legs around him not wanting to go anywhere. Jay smiled against her lips, deepening the kiss before sliding back in. 

"Oh god," she moaned loud and long arching against him. 

"Damn baby," he panted feeling her move with him. 

"You.... feel so good," she moaned locking her legs around his waist. 

"You too baby. Damn you do too." 

He set a slow pace as he kissed all over her. He didn't want to rush this in the least. He could feel her building back up to another orgasm, and he slightly picked up the pace. Her moans and pants were enough to keep going faster and harder. 

"Jay.... Oh god.... I.... again," she managed to moan before arching against him hard and exploding. She screamed his name as her orgasm washed over them both. She squeezed him tight and he was unable to hold back. He kissed on her neck and sucked hard letting out a moan as he came too. She kept coming milking him dry leaving them both sweaty and panting for breath. 

"Oh god, oh Jay," she moaned holding on to him tight. 

"I know love... I know," he panted nuzzling her neck. 

"That was amazing," she giggled nuzzling his neck. 

"You're amazing," he smiled pulling back and kissing her on the lips. "Come on let's get you a bath," he smiled slowly easing out of her. She winced just a little and he knew a warm bath would help ease her soreness. 

He ran her a warm bubble bath as he disposed of the condom. He helped her over in it and the joined her. She settled with her back to his chest. She let out a soft sigh as she linked their fingers together. "I love you so much Jay Matthew," she whispered gazing up at him. 

"I love you just as much," he smiled down at her before joining their lips. 

They relaxed in the bath until she was almost asleep. He scooped her out and dried her off carrying her to bed. "I should get you home," he sighed going to pick up her clothes. Lauren stopped him, pulling him to the bed with her. "I'm staying... All night with you," she smiled big. 

"You're sure? Kelly won't mind?" he asked. 

She shrugged giving him the sweetest smile. "I'm staying Jay. I don't want to leave," she said snuggling into the bed pulling the covers over herself. "I don't ever want to leave," she whispered as he joined her. 

"I know," he whispered wrapping his arms around her. "You could stay here the rest of the month if you want," he smiled against her shoulder where he was softly kissing. 

"I do want," she rolled smiling at him. He softly kissed her until they both fell asleep. The next day they returned to Kelly's. Lauren talked to him and while Kelly wasn't exactly thrilled his baby sister was already moving in with a guy, he'd never seen two people more in love. He reluctantly agreed and helped her move her stuff to Jay's apartment. He just hoped nothing backfired on them because he would hate to see his sister get hurt. 

Jay and Lauren were immensely happy. Going to sleep and waking up together was one of the best feelings in the world. Lauren knew it would end come August first, but she tried not to dwell on it as she basked in the bliss of being in love and truly happy. 


	4. It's Not Goodbye

The rest of July was spent every day with each other. They spent time with Kelly and Will and friends. Lauren even got to meet Jay's mom at one point. She was very sweet and obviously loved her boys. They both knew time was running out, but they tried not to think about it. 

Nights were spent in each other's arms loving the other. Lauren had never felt so alive or so loved in all her life. Jay had become her everything and she couldn't wait to spend forever with him. 

The last day in July rolled around way to quickly for either of them. She'd cried all day while they were both packing. She didn't want to leave him, but she didn't have a choice. She had to return to Tennessee to her mother and finish high school. He was due at Fort Benning at oh nine hundred hours. 

"Babe," he whispered cradling her cheeks and wiping her tears. "It's gonna be ok. We'll get through this and then we'll start forever ok?" He tried reassuring her. 

Lauren barely nodded as she leaned into his hands. "It's just gonna be hard," she whispered. "I've gotten used to being with you." 

"I know. I have to," he whispered softly kissing her lips. "But we'll communicate however we can ok?" 

Lauren gave another nod and they finished packing. That night they made love over and over knowing it would be awhile before they saw each other again. After Lauren drifted to sleep, Jay laid there running his fingers softly through her hair just watching her. He hadn't planned on falling in love, but she'd captured his whole heart. He knew he told her they could get through this, and he prayed he was right because he wasn't sure he knew how to live without her.

They next morning they loaded up early and went to the airport. Lauren text her best friend to let them know the flight was still on schedule and she needed a ride from the airport. She would be landing at seven am. Jay was in his Army fatigues because he flew out right after her, so everyone stopped him to offer their thanks for his service. He didn't think he was ever going to be able to hold her or say goodbye. The tears started again as soon as they met up with Kelly. 

She said goodbye to Kelly first. Of course their dad was nowhere around because he still had nothing to do with her, but Kelly wanted that relationship with his sister. Jay could hear her cries from where he was. She didn't want to leave Kelly either, but Kelly promised he'd come visit and she could come up whenever she wanted. He promised to stay in touch, talk on the phone everyday if she wanted.

Finally, he heard Kelly tell her she needed to say goodbye to him. Jay's heart was breaking inside. He didn't want to say goodbye either, but their paths were already set before they met. But if she could wait, they'd be together again. 

Jay wrapped his arms around her tight and softly inhaled the scent of her and her shampoo. He felt her tears on his chest as she cried holding on tight. "I know," he whispered feeling her try to hold in her sobs. 

"I don't want to leave," he heard her whisper. 

"Me either baby. But you have one more year of high school and I have training. We can get through this. I believe in us," he said pulling back to look her in the eyes. 

He softly brushed hair out of her face as he memorized every little detail about her. 

"Here I got you this," she said reaching into her pocket as he wiped her tears. It was a wallet size picture of her and on the back was a picture of them. "So you don't forget," she whispered. 

Jay picked her up unable to stand not feeling her in his arms one more time and she wrapped around him. "I'll never forget beautiful, never," he whispered kissing her hard and deep. 

They heard her plane called, and Jay held her still kissing her until final boarding was called. "You've gotta go," he whispered setting her down. "Text me when you land ok?" He asked as she cried harder. "I love you Lauren. I always will," he said with one more kiss. 

"I love you Jay. Always," she whispered. 

That goodbye was the hardest goodbye Jay had ever had to say. Jay felt tears as he watched her walking away. When she boarded the plane headed back to Tennessee, he collapsed in a chair with his hands in his face and softly cried. He hadn't thought it would be this hard to let her go. 

Kelly gave his shoulder a squeeze. "She'll be ok Jay. I'll make sure of it," Kelly said quietly. 

Jay barely gave him a nod. He knew Kelly would look out for his sister but it didn't make being away from her any easier. 

In just a bit Will joined them. Jay had said goodbye to his mom yesterday, and he and his dad were not on good terms. Kelly left not long after that leaving the brothers to say goodbye. "You ok?" Will asked quietly after a bit. 

"I dunno," Jay said honestly. "I didn't expect this Will. I didn't want to fall in love but I did. I love her, and I don't know that I know how to live without her." 

"You're strong Jay. You'll figure it out. You always do," Will said giving his brother's shoulder a squeeze. 

"Yea... thanks." Jay knew Will was trying to make him feel better, but he just felt empty at the moment. 

After about thirty minutes, his plane was called. He stood up and gave Will a hug. "I'll be home in nine weeks for a day or two, and then I'll go back to finish training." 

"I should be here. Go do you man and be safe." 

"Yea... yea I will." With that Jay boarded his plan headed for Georgia. 

......................................................

Lauren landed in Knoxville an hour and a half after leaving Chicago. She'd luckily slept most of the flight and didn't panic. When she got off the plane her best friend Wes was waiting for her. 

"Hey there," he said giving her a big hug. He hadn't seen her since school had let out, and he'd honestly missed her. 

"Thanks for getting me," she said quietly. Her eyes were red rimmed and her nose stuffy from all the crying she'd done. 

"Of course. You ok?" He asked slinging his arm over her shoulder as they headed to baggage claim. 

"I dunno," she said with an almost defeated shrug. Wes got her bags while Lauren text Kelly letting him know she'd landed safely. She text Jay next telling him the same and that she really missed him. She knew he wouldn't get it until he landed. 

"What's wrong Lauren? Was Chicago that bad?" He asked worriedly. They'd become best friends their last year of middle school and had remained close all through out high school. He was her only friend her mom was ok with. 

"No... no... Chicago was wonderful. Better than I imagined. My brother is everything I've ever wanted in an older brother." 

"Then what's wrong? You look uber depressed," he sighed as they located his car and loaded up. 

"I met a guy.... I fell in love... we've been together almost every day and I don't know how to do this now," she sniffed. "He's on his way to Fort Benning for training. He's going to be a Ranger." 

"Wow," Wes said quietly. He'd never seen her this way over a guy before. Sure she's had crushes but she's never acted on it, not once. If he were being totally honest, he always imagined they would end up together. 

"I'm sure it'll be fine. Plenty of couples survive army life. And if he's half a guy I'm sure he is, he's not going to let you go so easily. Any guy would be lucky to have you. If he loves you like you love him, y'all will be fine."  He said even though it killed him inside to see her with someone else now that he'd admitted his feeling for her to himself. 

"Thanks Wes. I needed that," she said with a small smile. 

"Anytime," he smiled as they headed towards home.

"So.... would you mind staying until I see how things are at home? I haven't talked to them since I left and I don't know how this is gonna go," she said after a bit.

"Of course. You know you always got a place with us." 

Lauren nodded and they continued the ride in almost relative silence. Kelly had text back telling her to call if she needed anything, and she hadn't heard back from Jay yet. 

.......................................................

Jay landed at Columbus an hour and a half after leaving Chicago. He turned his phone on first thing and saw Lauren's text. He was glad she'd made it safely. He text her back letting her know he'd landed and was headed for Fort Benning. 

Lauren received Jay's text as they pulled in at her mom's. She text back with a happy emoji letting him know she was glad he was safe. 

"Ready?" Was asked after they'd sat there staring at the house for a few minutes. Lauren barely nodded and got out. She headed up the front steps and used her key. 

"Mom, I'm home," she called out when she didn't see anyone. Her mother came out from the kitchen and her step-dad came from upstairs. 

"Well?! I get three months without so much as a peep from you and you just waltz back in like its nothing?!" Her mother said hatefully. 

"I tried calling you and you never answered so I gave up," Lauren said with a small shrug. 

"Did you get what you wanted out of this little rendezvous?" 

"I did. I met my family and made friends. It was wondeful," Lauren said with a little smile. 

"We're your family you ungrateful brat," her step-dad growled smacking her across the face. 

Lauren let out a tiny scream in shock as her hand flew to her face where she was hit. 

"You had sex didn't you?!" Her mother accused. "I let you go visit your brother and he just let's you run wild?! This is unacceptable," she screeched. "You will not being going back ever!!!!" 

"When I'm eighteen you can't stop me!" Lauren screamed her anger boiling over. She couldn't stay here tonight. She was glad she'd asked Wes to wait. 

"You're not eiggteen yet missy! And until then you'll do as I say!" 

"I'm not staying here tonight," Lauren said quietly. "Until you two can treat me with respect and not as your pet to control, I'll be at Wes's," she said gathering up her school stuff. 

"Like hell you will," her step-dad screamed grabbing her arm. "You live under this roof, you do as we say!" 

"Let her go," Wes growled showing his phone with 911 dialed ready to press send. 

"Get out," her step-dad growled shoving Lauren towards him. Wes caught her easily and they left. 

She didn't realize until she was in his car that she was softly crying again. "It'll be ok. You just have to tell them ok?" Was said quietly as he headed towards his house. He knew she needed to tell her brother and this mystery man she loved so much. 

"Yea... yea I will. Just not tonight. I need sleep," she whispered.

"Just promise me you'll tell them Lauren. They love you, they deserve to know." 

"I promise," she whispered.

When they got to his house. His mom was thrilled to see her. Lauren begged off to bed early claiming travelling wore her out. She was glad the spare room, which was essentially hers was still the same. She text Jay until she fell asleep. She didn't tell him what had happened at her mom's because she didn't want him to worry. He needed to stay focused and she couldn't be the reason he wasn't focused. She told herself she would tell him soon, but not right now. With those thoughts she drifted off to sleep.


	5. Basic Training

After that night with Wes, Lauren went back home. It was closer to school and her mother had tried reporting her missing. She vowed not to have anything to do with them and just survive until her eighteenth birthday. She'd kept half her promise and told Kelly everything that happened. She gave Kelly Wes's address so anything he sent her, she would get.

She didn't tell Jay. She didn't want him worrying about her instead of being focused. His first email had detailed how intense training was and she wanted him to stay focused.

She emailed him almost every day telling him good things from her day. She told him about how much she missed him and how she couldn't wait to see him again.

Her favorite days were the days he was able to Skype. They were few and far between, but when he could, it made her day.

It was Friday of the fourth week and Jay was able to Skype once she was out of school. Lauren practically floated through the day knowing he would be waiting on her.

Once school let out, she headed over to her grandmother's. They were more lenient with her and just loved her. They didn't mind that she had a boyfriend, and loved seeing her happy.

"Hey Memaw, hey papaw," she called out on her way to the office.

Once in there, she plugged in the headphones and mic and booted up Skype. She logged in and waited for him to be on. She only had to wait about thirty minutes and he was calling.

She lit up seeing him. They talked about their days. She told him about school and how she couldn't wait to see him. He told her what he could about training and that he wanted to see her once it was done. Lauren agreed and they promised to work out the details once it was closer.

They were halfway there though and that seemed promising. Once Jay had to go, Lauren visited with her grandparents before going home.

The rest of basic training continued on much of the same. Jay emailed and skyped when he could. The day before basic was over, Jay was able to Skype her. Lauren just told him she couldn't wait to see him. She didn't tell him things were slowly getting worse with her mom and she was at Wes's more than she was home.

They agreed to make plans tomorrow once he was free. That night Lauren packed up to get away from her mother so she didn't have to lie about her plans for tomorrow. She went to Wes's knowing she would see Jay tomorrow.   
 **.........................................................**  
The next morning, Jay was released from basic earlier than he'd expected. He had three days of leave before he had to be back on base to finish his training. He was beyond excited to see his girl.

He called Kelly as soon as he landed at Chattanooga airport. "Hello," Kelly answered.

"Kelly it's Jay. What's Lauren's address? I just got leave and I'm gonna surprise her?"

Kelly rattled off the address and before he could tell Jay to call her or anything about that address, Jay said "thanks," and hung up. Kelly tried calling Lauren but of course she didn't answer. He text multiple times to warn her Jay was on the way but those weren't going through either.

Jay rented a car and headed out. He had an hour drive and he couldn't wait to see her. An hour later, he pulled into the driveway and the sight before him stole his breath. On the front porch was Lauren and some guy in a swing. She was laughing and appeared happy.

Jay was confused and conflicted. She was his; her emails and calls were always so promising. He couldn't believe she'd been cheating on him.

He slowly backed out as if he was lost and headed out. He couldn't stand to see anymore. That was his girl with someone else. The pain was just too much. He headed to Knoxville to catch his next flight. He hoped he could change it to today.

He sent Will a text saying he'd be home sooner than he thought. He didn't give details and he didn't want to deal with anything so he turned his phone off. Luckily once he got to the airport, they were able to change his flight to today. He boarded after an hour and headed home.

After the car turned around, Lauren tried checking her phone to see if Jay had called yet to make plans. What she discovered was that her phone had been shut off. She used Wes's phone to call her mother only to learn they had shut it off since she was "being such a brat."

Lauren tried using Wes's computer to connect with Jay. She sent him a quick email telling him what had happened with her phone and that he could email her. She tried skyping Kelly next but he wasn't online so she emailed him.

She stayed by the computer most of the day, but she never received anything from Jay. She felt crushed and tried chalking it up to him not getting leave after all.

Wes tried cheering her up, but it didn't work. About eleven that night, Kelly finally skyped her back. He told her that Jay had called and he had been on his way to surprise her, but Kelly had seen him in town with Will.

Lauren was confused then, and Kelly promised to try and talk to him to see what was up. He also promised to call the phone company he used and see if he could get her a phone on his plan since her mother refused to reconnect her phone.

Lauren sent Jay another email before she crashed.

_My love,_   
_I'm_ _not sure what happened today. Kelly_ _finally_ _skyped_ _me to tell me_ _that_ _you_ _were coming to surprise me. Mom refused to_ _reconnect_ _my phone so Kelly is_ _trying_ _to_ _get me_ _another_ _one._ _Please_ _Skype_ _me or email me so_ _I_ _know_ _you're_ _ok. I wanna know what happened_ _today._ _I_ _thought_ _we were set to see each other. I miss_ _you_ _Jay_ _and_ _I_ _love_ _you._ _Please_ _let me_ _know_ _something_ _soon._   
_-L._

She tried to convince herself that he just got diverted or something came up and she would still see him. It took her forever to fall asleep, but she eventually did.

The next day she hadnt heard back from him. She knew he only got three days off, and she was even more discouraged. On the third day, she finally got a reply.

_Lauren,_

_Sorry_ _I_ _didn't_ _make it._ _Something_ _came up and_ _I_ _had to go_ _home._ _Maybe next time._   
_Xoxo_   
_J_

Lauren wanted more details, but she knew he'd only share if he felt like it. She replied quickly hoping they could carry on a conversation.

_No worries. I_ _understand._ _I had just been really excited to see you. Maybe_ _you'll_ _get leave again soon? I hope_ _anyways_ _. Safe flight and know_ _I_ _love_ _you_ _more than anything._   
_L._

Sadly, Jay didn't reply any more. Lauren was crushed. She had really been looking forward to seeing him. Wes tried taking her out to eat and with friends, but she just wasn't feeling it. She headed back home instead and went to see her grandparents. They were gracious enough to let her stay with them that night since her mom didn't know.

Monday, Kelly was able to get her a phone. She went and picked it up after school. She set it up once home at her mom's again. She hated being there but to keep her mom from calling the police to report her missing even though she knew where she was, Lauren appeased her. Once Lauren had her phone going, she emailed Jay with her new number and said she would be able to Skype whenever he wanted since Kelly had gotten her a smartphone.

She didn't hear back from him until the end of the week. He sent her an email.

_Lauren,_

_Glad_ _Kelly_ _got you hooked_ _back_ _up. This set of training is really_ _intense_ _and focused. It gives us our military occupational speciality or MOS for_ _short_ _. I probably_ _won't_ _be as available as_ _I_ _was with basic._ _Just_ _wanted to_ _give_ _you heads up._ _Won't_ _know my next leave until later either. Be safe._   
_J_

It wasn't their typical emails, but she could guess he was probably busy. She tried not to let it bother her, but she really felt the distance between them with that email.   
 **...................................................**

"Dude.... girl problems?" Mouse asked sitting down beside Jay at the computers. They had met in basic and became instant friends. Mouse was different, but Jay really liked him. He was computer savvy and helped Jay out with talking to Lauren.

"Something like that," Jay mumbled.

"Wanna talk about it?" Mouse asked logging into his email.

"Nope. Just wanna forget it," Jay said. "Don't stay in here too late. We got a long day tomorrow," Jay reminded knowing Mouse would stay in there all night if he could.

"I won't," Mouse laughed fake saluting him as Jay headed off to bed. Will had tried telling him to give Lauren a chance to explain, but he didn't want to know anything about her and another guy.

Kelly had tried texting him that weekend he was home, but Jay had managed to avoid him. He knew he should give her a chance, but his heart was still hurting and he didn't want to deal with it.

He just wanted his girl back in his arms, but he wasn't sure if that would happen anymore. With that he closed his eyes and tried to force the images out of his mind so he could sleep. 


	6. Training & Deployment

During the rest of Jay's training Lauren was left confused and hurt for the most part. She emailed him almost every day like she had, but his emails were shorter and much different. He rarely said "I love you," anymore, he never asked how she was even though her emails would tell him, and he never talked about seeing her. His emails were never consistent and sometimes she wouldn't hear from him for months on end. She would constantly ask if things were ok between them, but he would never respond. 

She'd sent him Christmas gifts, but he hadn't sent her anything. He'd forgotten her birthday too. She tried not to let it hurt her, chalking it up to him being in training with little to no free time, but it was their first Christmas and she was a little crushed. She'd sent him something at Valentine's too, but it was a repeat of Christmas. Now, it was the end of February and it was getting close to his training being finished. She tried once more to see if she could see him once he got leave.  

 _Jay,_  
I know your training should be almost finished, and I know things haven't exactly been the same between us since basic. I'm still trying to figure that out. I do want to see you, so bad. Please, whatever has happened we can get through it. I love you so much and nothing can change that. Please just let me know if we can meet up. I miss you so bad.   
I love you,  
L

She wasn't exactly surprised when she didn't get a reply. She'd confided in Wes and Kelly when she'd seen him at Christmas. She was lonely and hurt and confused, but neither had an answer for her. Kelly had his suspicions it had something to do with Jay trying to surprise her after basic, but he couldn't be sure. 

**................................**

Training for Jay was no less tortuous than it was for Lauren. He read every single one of her emails almost every day that she sent them. He had started distancing himself because he was still hurt over seeing her with someone else. Mouse had tried getting him to talk about it and give her a chance, but Jay shut it down every time. He's focus was being the best Ranger he could be and nothing was going to change that. 

When he got her Christmas and Valentine gifts, he'd felt guilty that he hadn't sent her anything. He tried making it up to her in emails, but he knew it wasn't enough because only half his heart had been in it. He missed her something terrible, but he knew if he heard her admit she'd met someone else, it would hurt more than missing her. 

When he got her email about wanting to see him, he contemplated it for several days before he replied. 

 _Lauren,_  
When I get leave, I have to go home. Mom needs me since Will is off doing who knows what at Med school, and I don't get many days before I ship out for my first deployment. Life of a Ranger ya know. Take care of yourself and maybe we'll get to see each other sometime.   
J

It killed him to hit send because he wanted nothing more than to see her, but he couldn't do it. His heart was still bruised from his last visit to Tennessee. 

**.........................................................**

When Lauren read his email, she was crushed. She'd been so hopeful that she would get to see him, but now she knew it wouldn't be happening. She understood that he needed to go home, but it still sucked. 

She threw herself into school not giving it another thought. She was eighteen now, and rarely stayed at home. She just wanted to graduate and get out of there. She knew Kelly wouldn't be able to pay for her to go to college; he already did so much for her with what little he made. She'd convinced herself she was just going to move to Chicago after graduation and be a waitress until she had enough to get a degree. 

A month before gradation, her mother threw a kink in her plan. She agreed to pay for Lauren to go to college and buy her a car, if and only if, Lauren stayed in Tennessee. Lauren knew her heart was really in Chicago with her friends and brother, but she couldn't pass up the chance for college. She knew as a waitress it would take her years to save up before she could even consider going. This would give her a chance to get her degree and then move. 

After talking it over with Kelly, she agreed she couldn't pass it up. She told her mother she would stay and finish her college if they paid for it. Her mother was ecstatic to keep control over her that much longer, and while Lauren's heart wasn't totally in it, she was getting to go to college. 

**........................................**

After Jay finished his training, he decided he would swing by Tennessee on his way home and see his green eyed beauty. Despite what he'd told her, he knew he really wanted to see her. After landing in Chattanooga, he rented a car and headed north. He started to text her and tell her was coming, but he really just wanted it to be a surprise. 

When he drove by, he was once again crushed to see her with that same guy. Clearly she'd still been leaving a lot out of her emails and wasn't being truthful with him. He decided then and there that he was done replying to her emails. He kept driving until he reached Knoxville, where he boarded a plane and flew home.

**.....................................................**

Lauren was thankful Wes's family took her in. After graduation, she practically moved in. Her mother of course thought she was living on campus, but Wes's house was five minutes from school, so she stayed there more than anything. She threw herself into college life and kept herself busy with school work and part time jobs. Her sophomore year of college, Wes's parents moved out leaving him the house. Lauren officially moved in with him, they had separate rooms, and she helped pay the bills with her part time job. She saved what she could, when she could because she made it clear, she was moving to Chicago as soon as she was done with college. 

She and Kelly talked almost every day, skyping whenever they could. She still emailed Jay, but she'd cut it back to once a week, when he'd stopped replying in high school. Kelly and Wes both had tried encouraging her to move on, and Wes went so far as to set her up with guys from his work, but it just wasn't happening. She'd given her heart away and no one could seem to measure up to Jay's standard. 

**............................**

It'd been three years since Jay had seen her. His second deployment was horrendous. He'd lost six guys in his unit, six guys he'd been responsible for and had considered friends.  He'd almost lost Mouse too. He wasn't sure what would've happened if he'd lost the one friend he'd had since the beginning. 

He wanted nothing more than to see his girl, hug her close, apologize for the distance and profusely tell her how much he loved her. He knew he wasn't in the best head space, but he knew she would be the one to make it better. When he landed in Tennessee, he headed straight for the address he had. He was once again disappointed to see her with that same guy. This time it looked like a huge family event was going on. He could see her laughing, playing with two little girls, and his heart crushed even more. He knew it was time to head home and forget her. 

When he got home, he'd found out his mama was dying from cancer.  Will was still partying it up at med school, and his dad was no where around. Jay had never gotten along with him anyways, and the relationship had been permanently severed when Jay joined the army. Finding out his dad had bailed when his mom got the diagnosis made him hope to never see the bastard again. He stayed by her side the whole time until she took her last breath. 

At the funeral he got into it with his brother, and Jay wasn't sure what exactly stopped him from beating his brother to a pulp. Even though they were barely speaking, Will was still worried about his baby brother, and suggested Jay get away for a bit. Take a true vacation and decompress for a change.  Jay thought it over and decided his brother was right. He searched for the right place to just get away. It took him a week, but he finally found it and knew it would be perfect. 

 


	7. His Leave

Jay Halstead was on leave from the Rangers. While technically he was still in the reserves, he'd just finished his second tour. His best friend was receiving inpatient treatment for PTSD, and while Jay suffered the same, his wasn't as bad.

He'd just buried his mother and his brother jetted back to New York to party it up. The love of his life had by all means appeared to have moved on, so Jay was alone. He needed out of Chicago. He needed away from the memories and the nightmares and he needed to learn to be on his own. He found a cabin in Silver Lake and rented it for the whole month. It was late spring, turning into summer, and a cabin seemed like the perfect distraction.

He packed a bag and jumped on his Ducati and headed out. It was the first time since his first tour that'd he'd had the bike out, and it felt amazing. It rumbled beneath him, all steel and power as the wind blew through his curls.

It was the first time since joining the Rangers that he was letting his hair grow out. It was just starting to curl, and he could hear her voice. She loved his curls, loved running his fingers through them. She also loved how the sun brought out every single one of his freckles.

"Damn it," he muttered to himself. This had to stop. She'd clearly moved on and he needed to as well. He needed to stop hearing her voice most of all.

He drove straight through, arriving at the cabin mid-afternoon. As he explored the inside he realized just how perfect it really was for him. Her voice floated back through his mind as he remembered the conversation where they discussed buying a cabin and raising their family in it. She wanted to be a teacher, him an army man, with three kids, two girls and a boy. She said the girls would be daddy's babies and she'd have a mama's boy that looked like him.

"Damn it," he screamed punching the wall in the basement. He peeled the skin off his knuckles but it was a welcome relief. No matter how hard he'd tried, he couldn't get her out of his head. The best part about having a doctor for a brother and serving in the Rangers was that he learned to clean himself up.

He went upstairs and bandaged up his knuckles. He seriously had to stop thinking about her. He'd seen her three different times with the same guy so she'd clearly moved on and forgotten about him despite the emails he still received from time to time. He never replied.

After fixing his hand, he walked down to the dock and stared out over the water. He hoped a month here would conquer his demons and help him forget his time overseas. He also hoped he'd be able to forget her.

The first week consisted of a lot of sleepless nights and drinking. Drinking helped him forget until he'd sober up, and then memories would creep in sending him looking for the bottle again. When he realized that wasn't working and he was just pushing himself to an early grave, he turned to hard physical work.

He started negotiating with the owners to try and buy it. Even though he wasn't sure if she'd ever find her way back to him, he knew this cabin should be theirs. If she came back he wanted to have it for her.

He built a fence around the property; he repaired the dock and made it brand new after a storm came through; he put a new roof on after said storm ripped the shingles off; last, he started painting and fixing up the basement. He pushed himself hard, getting all of this done by the end of the second week. At night he was so tired he didn't have a chance to dream.

At the beginning of the third week, Jay had finally convinced the owners to sell him the place. He signed the papers the same day Mouse called and told him he was being released. Jay gave him the address and invited him up. That night he gave Mouse the tour and they grilled out.

This week was spent relaxing with Mouse. One thing Mouse learned in his treatment was talking about things made them easier to bear. Between, boating, hiking and swimming, Mouse got Jay to talk to him about their tours, and it seemed to be helping him.

Mouse noticed he never talked about her anymore and while he was curious he never pushed Jay either. By the fourth week, Jay's nightmares had stopped completely and he was in a much better place than when he first arrived. He'd even decided on joining the Chicago police department and Mouse thought that was the best thing for him.

On their fourth week, they did a lot more boating and swimming, staying in shape but also enjoying what could be considered their first real vacation in three years.

Towards the end of the week, they were out on the boat just relaxing, letting the sun tan their skin. Mouse decided to make Jay talk about her. When they'd first joined the Rangers, she was all Mouse heard about, and while he'd talked about her less and less as their tours went on, he'd at least still mentioned her. In the two weeks Mouse had been with him, Jay hadn't mentioned her not once.

"What is it dude?" Jay finally asked seeing Mouse's wheels turning.

"You don't ever mention her," Mouse started. Even with aviators, Mouse could see Jay still had the same look as when he first started talking about her. He secretly snapped a picture to send to her somehow.

"She's moved on man," Jay shrugged.

"How do you know? She tell you?" Mouse pressed wanting to get answers about Jay's woman.

"Na. I saw her with a guy, three different times. She still emails but..... she's moved on."

"Dude if she didn't tell you that then you don't know."

"Yea.... I do... He was at her place three different times in the last three years. She's moved on Mouse."

"You dumbass! Did you give her a chance to explain?"

Jay shook his head no. "She doesn't even know I was there."

"God Jay how could you just let her go?! Yall were freaking soul mates from how you talked about her."

Jay just shrugged again staring out over the water. "I was never in a good place and she deserved better. She looked happy and that's all that mattered."

Mouse just shook his head. Hell for all Jay knew she was still waiting on him. He definitely had to get her this now.

That night after Jay was asleep, Mouse snuck his laptop out of his room. He downloaded the picture and attached it to an email. Finding her email was easy since he'd saved every single one she'd ever sent.

He attached this message with the picture; "No matter what he still loves you. He still gets the same look as his first day in the Rangers when he talks about you. I have no idea what happened, but I just thought you should know you still have his heart. -M" Once he'd seen it'd been delivered, he deleted the email and put his laptop back in its place. He wasn't sure what she'd do or how she'd respond, but he knew his best friend deserved a chance at love. If she still felt the same about him as he did about her, than Mouse knew it'd all work out.

The beginning of the next week, they returned to Chicago and Jay applied to CPD. He was accepted and sent through the academy. Mouse floated through, trying to battle memories that weren't as worked out as he thought. He lost touch with Jay for a while, even though he knew Jay still kept up with him. Two years passed quickly and Jay was detective and he'd made Mouse his CI. It helped Jay keep tabs on him, and Mouse wasn't as likely to use drugs.

**................**

She remembered the morning she woke up to an email from Jay like it was yesterday instead of two years ago. She'd been so excited only to open it and realize it wasn't really from him. While she didn't know who M was, she appreciated the message he or she'd sent.

She saved it, saved the picture and read it often. She knew from her brother that Jay was still in town, and she knew she really needed to have a face to face conversation with him. She needed to know why he'd seemingly forgot about her, when he was all she thought about.

It took her two years from the time she got the picture before she returned to Chicago. It was the summer before her senior year of college, and she needed to know if he still loved her like she loved him. Talking to him would determine her future after graduation.

Lauren had her brother convince him to meet her at their favorite café down from firehouse fifty-one. She arrived in the city the day before the meeting, and while she loved getting to spend time with her brother, she was a bundle of nerves.

She couldn't remember the last time she was this nervous, but she knew this summer and her conversations with Jay would ultimately be deciding her future, a future she'd been so unsure of up until this point.

The day of the meeting she was a mess of nervous energy. She'd barely slept and she hadn't been able to eat anything. She knew she'd get to the café early because she'd run out of things to do around her brothers apartment, but she never expected he'd be sitting there waiting on her...


End file.
